Lockdown Stories

Lockdown Stories: “Lockdown” by Sam Upton

single image

Unprecedented Times: Bards in Lockdown

Sam Upton – 8th Bard of Stony Stratford


So, a virus supposedly started by pig or a bat, Has changed how we live, our day to day,
But we cannot let this pandemic have its way, To the NHS & essential workers, I tip my hat, Oh, and the Earth is definitely not flat,

Our Prime Minister is undeniably a bit of a prat, Unfortunately, him & over a million others are ill, And the best thing we can do is just to sit still, Stay home, read a book, have a video chat,

And remember the Earth is definitely not flat,

Go online, check the news, may as well look at a cat, Put up a picture, go out and clap, but remain 2m apart, Remember to check in on those close to your heart, Wear a dress to take out your bins, perhaps a cravat, And despite how it looks the Earth is definitely not flat,

Lockdown maybe bad, but eat lots of food, get a bit fat, Follow a little tiny YouTube quiz and learn some silly facts, By literally doing nothing we can stop this in its tracks,“But I don’t wanna” said all the spoiled brats,
Well at least the Earth is definitely not flat,

This isn’t the time for hate, fear or conspiratorial twats,
I’m seeing so many posts about 5G posts,
Bill Gates, Big Pharma, Anti-Vax, & Jesus Christ on a slice of toast, The world is bad enough without all your ridiculous this & that, And one last time for everyone at the back, The Earth is not Flat.

A Month of

It’s been a month of self-isolation,
Of really pointless procrastination,
Of YouTube searching desperation,
And an unnecessary amount of masturbation,

It’s been a month of social distancing,
Of existential crisis resisting,
Of endless social network quizzing,
And of everyone watching the Tiger King,

It’s been a month of staying indoors, Of conspiracy theories about the cause, Of pointing out their obvious flaws, And of just wanting to be outdoors,

It’s been a month of sofa and snack trays, Of the binge-watching Netflix phase,
Of always feeling in a bit of a haze,
Of having that everyday blaze,

It’s finally been a month of Sundays.

You may like