Love in the time of Covid.
A birthday in Lockdown – April Thoughts from Isolation
April is usually a very sociable month in our family. We have a cluster of birthdays requiring celebration, Easter usually somewhere in the mix, and there is always the arrival of much-awaited Spring weather. I always think it’s akin to coming out of hibernation, and as I approached my 65th birthday, maybe the wrinkly tortoise-like comparison is accurate now.
But Covid-19 happened. The gates on socialising and celebrations were slammed shut with rude abruptness on 23rd March and everyone was left stunned and bewildered by the changes imposed by this unwanted visitor.
By the time my birthday arrived, in mid April, life was developing a new rhythm and human nature had, in the main, led us from panic, through disbelief and horror into resignation and acceptance of the new normal.
In the pre-Covid world, I would have expected much celebrating, flowers, definitely a meal out, and plenty of presents. However, as the day got closer, I realised two things: this would be a birthday like no other I’d had; and in fact in the time of such a crisis, it would be distasteful at the very least to expect Dancing Girls and flypasts when so many in the world were having such a terrible experience. In fact my best present would be (and still is, every day), that those I love the most are still healthy.
So the day dawned (a Monday), with very little expectation by me of much happening at all. What actually transpired was an amazing day – full of love, warmth and joy. For a start, there was a marvellous array of homemade cards – some worked better than others, but they were all unique and full of thought. And local friends took the trouble to turn up. Socially distant “Happy Birthdays” were said from 2 metres away, small gifts were dropped on the porch for collection, and one friend’s husband came over on his motorcycle especially because they were concerned the gift wouldn’t arrive by post in time. Others used their exercise hour to pop past on bikes and deliver cards. Family and more distant friends contacted me via video, rather than the usual hurried texts, and the day was spent in delightful chats and plenty of cups of tea. We booked family chat times and laughed together, and my son made me the most amazing croissants from scratch.
Our celebration meal came courtesy of Nigella Lawson, via the local Butcher – Sake Steak, thoroughly delicious. Oh, and the sun shone all day. Our walk with the dog was full of spring blossom and that gorgeous new green of unfurling leaves. And the blue sky was completely cloud free, with not a vapour trail in sight. I went to bed that evening feeling loved and grateful for a special day.
I realise now that Covid gave those of us who lived though it healthily that rare gift of time in a usually hectic world. And reading about the fragility of those lives taken and others irredeemably changed by it, has made us all reach out to those we love. Human resourcefulness is an amazing thing – whether it be home-made cards or hunting for a vaccine; and in particular everyone’s enthusiasm for embracing any sort of human interaction helped to make my birthday a very special one. A video, a phone call or text will never take the place of a hug, but they are a surprisingly comforting replacement in times of inaccessibility. I hope never to have a birthday under such conditions again; but I will remember this one not for the deprivations involved but for love in the time of Covid-19.
Gillian Davis
April 2020
